i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
