I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
