she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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