He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
pray to the hookup gods
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
