when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
