Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
