Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
