so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize