She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
