Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
