is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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