capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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