Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I have surprise drugs for everyone
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
