if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Randomize