I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
