That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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