I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Randomize
