im gay
i know
yea but for you.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
