Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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