Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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