Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I have feelings that need drinking.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
