i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
