how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
