But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
