all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
