Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
She even gives head with a lisp.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
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