Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
How external is "for external use only"?
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize