I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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