At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
