you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Randomize
