Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
