I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
