the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
