erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
