I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
