I hate your face
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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