I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
