yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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