I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
its not stalking. its research.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Randomize
