I haven't been this sober since birth.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
