Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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