does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I want to be your penis for a week.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
