so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Can vaginas get frostbite?
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
