They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
