There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Randomize
