no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
its liver damage thursday
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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