Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Randomize
