How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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