If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
