both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
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