Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
