I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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