Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Randomize