he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
