I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize