I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
