my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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