I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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