This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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