If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
