so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
