Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
My dick has a subreddit
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
