i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
