I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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