So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
