Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
