508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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