do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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