Sry I called you an 8
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
