Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
It was confusing and full of hummus
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
