There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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