Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
