Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
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