i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
