I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize
